NASCAR Embraces Their Stereotype
NASCAR just sent a dangerous precedent by not having some sort of punishment against Kyle Busch. They also made a statement about how the value of the entertainment is more important than having law and order at the race track. Its almost as if NASCAR brass decided that the best thing for their brand is to go 100% World Wrestling Entertainment. NASCAR is embracing their stereotype in an attempt to boost ratings and attendance.
For the twelve of you reading this that might not have heard about the incident I will explain it for you. Brad Keselowski’s car was off the pace and taking up space on the high side of the race track in the final lap at Las Vegas Motor Speedway when two of his fellow competitors were coming along battling for position. Kyle Busch didn’t want to yield position so he drove down on Joey Logano making contact and forcing him too low on the track for the next and final corner. Joey either had an awful position entering the corner or he drove in “Until He Saw Jesus” and lost the rear end of his car, washed up into Kyle Busch and caused Kyle’s car to spin out. Kyle Busch was unhappy and went to confront Joey Logano on pit road and took a wild swing that connected with Joey Logano. A mosh pit of crew men ensued and the only one left with any kind of noticeable injury was Kyle Busch. You can hear my take on the weekend’s events at the following link.
Over the years even the most famous fight in the history of the sport earned the pugilists involved some sort of penalty. The famous 1979 Post Daytona 500 fight between Donnie Allison and Cale Yarborough with a side order of Bobby Allison earned each participant a fine at least publicly. Usually when there is a fight even though NASCAR loves the attention they realize they have to give the combatant some sort of penalty to send a message that they won’t tolerate fighting. This week by announcing no penalty isn’t NASCAR encouraging more of this kind of post race behavior? Why not go 100% World Wrestling Entertainment on the world?
Paging Mean Gene
Since Mean Gene Okurland is probably enjoying his retirement I suppose NASCAR has to find someone new. There were three things that made Mean Gene the best in the wrestling announcer world. First, he had a great voice. Second, he was bald. Finally he was much shorter than the pro wrestlers which made the scenes almost comical. Today I am letting NASCAR know I am interested in being the “Mean Gene of NASCAR Racing” and I am ready for my audition!
My Mean Gene Audtion
Me: Alright NASCAR fans coming up this Sunday afternoon at Phoenix Raceway March 19th we have the big rematch. Kyle “Rowdy” Busch versus the fist catcher Joey “Sliced Bread” Logano. This will be simply unbelievable. On the under card we have Danica “Sweet Thing” Patrick going up against her boyfriend Ricky “Cool Boots” Stenhouse Jr in a no holds barred the loser cleans the kitchen grudge match. Kevin “Happy” Harvick goes up against Austin “Hold Pop Pop’s Watch” Dillon in a former teammate showdown. But the main event will be Kyle and Joey in a Navajo Leather Strap Thumb Wrestling Cage Match right there on the main stage before driver introductions. Let’s see what Kyle has to say in advance of this big showdown.
Kyle comes out in full cape with over sized sunglasses tossing little packets of M&M candies to the kiddies.
Kyle: Ohhhhhh I gotta tell ya Mean DMIC, all my little Rowdy maniacs are ready for the big match. Oh yeah baby its going down! This week there won’t be seven Penske guys in the way it will be just me and Joey one on one in the squared circle getting it on. (Kyle tears off his shirt exposing his arms) Feast your eyes on these big seven inch guns brother…Joey won’t know what hit him brothah! This massive garter snake of an arm is going to nail him. He’s going dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwn.
Me: There ya have it NASCAR fans. The showdown is coming at Phoenix Raceway right there on the main stage. Kyle Busch and Joey Logano one on one. No crew allowed. Just two men enter and only one will leave. There will also be lots of other exciting action on the main stage and 500 kilometers of racing on the track too. Not since the Mighty Thunder Lips threw the Stallion over the top ropes have we seen a match like this! This Sunday afternoon…Phoenix Raceway…March 19th…be there!
I think I might have a future in this business!
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